i’m back

so after last semester it kinda made me not ever want to look at my camera ever again it put a damper on my outlook on everything 
when my sprits were already down about the whole photography thing a certain person whom i’m going to leave nameless other than the word AHOLE told me i would never make it in “the industry” so needless to say i kinda given up and to be honest been looking at other schools and looking at more career options

But today i woke up and didn’t have another thought other than picking up my camera & haven’t been able to put it down and i’m excited about it again and all the people who think i can’t do it well they can go screw their mothers cause well i’m going to 
and i can’t wait to be like “IN YOUR FACE DOUCHE BAG!”

i love getting those creative epiphanies and creating the idea, it excites me more than anything in this world 

• regretting leaving all my markers at home 
• i’m bored now 

my morning…..

so i was asleep my parents come over without calling or anything, my roommate lets them in apparently they were sitting in my living room for a while i wake up walk in there to them i’m completely surprised that they are here and they act like i knew they were in there and was ignoring them or something my mom says “well if you don’t want to visit with us then i guess we will head home” i’m still half asleep and i try to explain to them that i didn’t know they were here and that they should have called that way i would have been up to talk to them 

so they leave then i text them about an hour later and tell them i need a ethernet chord for my internet, i wasn’t asking them for one i was just telling them that’s what i needed for my internet 

so i get in the shower, i get out of the shower to 9 missed calls and 409809 text messages from my parents SAYING THEY WERE DOWNSTAIRS AT MY APARTMENT with an ethernet chord and once again acted like i was ignoring them 

ahhhh my gosh ….only my family 

thoughts….

in reference to my new apartment: i feel like i’m in a dorm room
my little desk and dresser and my bed; the most uncomfortable thing i have ever slept on

roommates: not quite sure what to think yet i had a very good encounter with one of them earlier she seemed super nice the other one really don’t know i saw her for like 5 seconds 
i just know that one of them has their tv (i hope to god its the tv) up very loud and that is why i am up writing this cause i can not sleep

& i am very sleepy it has been such a long day/week/past year  ….i just want to sleep the next 3 weeks that i am out of school

speaking of i really need to go out and find a job

if life were a movie this is where i would pack up my car leave town to go “find myself” and a sad song will play as i drive into the sunset 

i feel so lost and confused right now 

whataday

this day started out fun then went to stressful very quickly then to hmm i’m over it then back to stressful again but 10x stressful to o dear i am quitting school and moving home to debating my career choice then to grrr i hate traffic i’m not moving to Murfreesboro to the drive + music = actually relaxing then a nice cool down walk around hobby lobby then to a crying phone call to my daddy to yay a free red box rental to eeeehhhh study time then to me coloring instead of studying to me cutting out mask with my notebook paper to a nice shower and now ….bed time    ….Oh and the air conditioner broke somewhere between the movie rental and the making mask with my notebook paper 

….tomorrow has to be better, right?

O life why must you do this to me i am absolutely loosing my mind i don’t know how much more i can take can you please slow down and let me catch up 

problem….

1st semester one of my teachers was telling us how some photographers have a problem in the way their pictures become like there children and they can’t let them go and sit and edit and re-edit and just wont let them go and that is how i feel about the pictures i took at the YEP event last week i’ve been working on them like CRAZY pulling all nighters and honestly i’ve gotten sick of looking at them but at the same time i can’t “finish” and i have to give them to andrew tomorrow and i am freaking out about it i just don’t want to give them to him AHHHHH!!!!!

BLAHHHH!!!